Prepare for the fallout. What you see is not necessarily what you will get. Everyone is (probably) hiding something. Time is running out, and your life is based on lies.
I'm going to make a BIG stretch to connect the idea of putting on an act for selfish reasons. Please bear with me for a moment.
Ben Wolf is like the Big Bad Wolf, but little. In order to make life a little more pleasant for himself, he dons the disguise of another person (Wolf + granny outfit = Red Riding Hood's granny; Ben + happy smile + rebellion + new interests in football = town hero/cool kid). Okay, so to be fair, Ben was not a "bad guy" like Wolfie, but he wasn't quite himself.
Now while the basics of Ben's actions can draw some similarities to his fake-namesake, Ben was not being selfish. I know many of my classmates would disagree with me, but I honestly believe that Ben did what he thought was right, and it was completely up to him to make his own decision. As a family member or best friend, I would have wanted to know what Ben was going through, but I would also understand that he didn't want to suddenly be treated differently. I think this was something that many of my classmates overlooked. It is true that Ben was able to prepare for his death while everyone around him barely had the opportunity to grasp the caliber of the situation, but what amount of time is really going to help others become okay with death? Watching someone die one slow day at a time can be much more painful than losing them with little notice. Ben knew his limits and was prepared to share the truth when he felt it was right. I think it is unfair to judge him or feel angry because he didn't tell his family and friends sooner, because we can't completely understand his situation or know how we would act if we were him. We can speculate and say that there is no way we would ever keep the truth from our family and friends, but if we knew we only had one year to live and wanted life to continue as if it was next to normal, would we tell them?
Everyone lives life differently, so why can't we just let Ben live his the way he wants? He wasn't being self-destructive, he was trying to make a difference in the world, and he was just trying to live. He was looking out for those around him (since he didn't want them to suffer), but moreover he was looking out for number one. I think his psychologist put it the best way - "The flight attendant says if the oxygen mask drops down, be sure to put on your own before helping anyone with theirs." If you don't try to save yourself, you won't be any good to anyone else.
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The ability to read awoke inside me some long dormant craving to be mentally alive. - Malcolm X
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I had a different take on what the class was thinking about Ben's actions. Many initially felt he was selfish and would feel betrayed if he didn't tell them sooner if they were siblings or friends, but I felt movement toward accepting his right to live his life--live his dying--the way he sees fit for himself first. I wonder if that will come out in the learning logs or whether I was projecting my own beliefs. In any case, it's clear that you and I agree!
ReplyDeleteTrue, I do think that a majority of the class walked away understanding what Ben had done - I just happened to understand it from the get-go. I saw where they were coming from, saying that he was selfish in a sense, but I also tried to put myself in his shoes as opposed to the shoes of those around him. I'm glad we agree though! It would be interesting to hear some of the reflections on this novel to see if more of the class is on the same page as us.
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